The Betty Crocker Project : Bacon & Spinach Salad featuring The Vegan Hard-Boiled Egg

It does seem a little silly to make tofu look like an egg. But what's wrong with silly?

This morning, I watched Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead while I drank my coffee. I was enjoying some deja vu with my Richard Dreyfus and Gary Oldman. See, a few years ago, I wrote a simple little blog entry on another blog (posted below). It's really just a blip about drinking coffee, this movie, death, and boats. I'll try not to ruin the end of the movie for you, but I think we all remember what happens to everyone at the end of Hamlet. And yet this movie/play is exceptionally silly for something with such a lurking and impending doom to it.

Thursday, September 11, 2008 : Rosencrantz and Guildenstern didn’t drink coffee.

Rosencrantz: Do you think Death could possibly be a boat?\ Guildenstern: No, no, no... death is not. Death isn't. Take my meaning? Death is the ultimate negative. Not-being. You can't not be on a boat. Rosencrantz: I've frequently not been on boats. Guildenstern: No, no... what you've been is not on boats. Today, I watched the Movie Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead while I drank my morning coffee and updated my schedule/planner ... Throughout the movie I kept stopping to dwell a bit on their reoccurring thoughts on death ... I think death is a excel spreadsheet with no color coding

So on to my point. There's nothing wrong with silly. In fact, in this case it made a simple salad actually kinda noteworthy. I've included both the fancy "eggs" recipe and the not-so-fancy version in this blog post. I'll let you decide how silly you want to be.

Bacon & Spinach Salad featuring The Vegan Hard-Boiled Egg
The Vegan Hard-Boiled Egg

• 1 Package of Extra Firm Tofu (drain as much water out of your tofu as you can)
• 3 Tablespoons Nutritional Yeast
• 1 Teaspoon Cumin
• 1/2 Teaspoon Onion Powder
• 1/4 Teaspoon Turmeric
• 1/4 Teaspoon Tony Chachere's Creole Seasoning
• 1 Tablespoon Olive Oil for cooking (don't add to the egg)

The Easy Way:

In a bowl, crumble the Tofu with a fork into small chunks. Then, mix in the rest of the ingredients with a large spoon. Once it's completely mixed, with no clumps of seasoning, you can sprinkle it over the completed Spinach Salad.

The Fancy Way:

Preheat oven to 300.

Cut the block of Tofu into 4 rectangular pieces.

With your 1 Teaspoon measuring spoon, scoop a half-circle cup out of the Tofu . This is what you are going to fill with your "yoke", so make sure it isn't too shallow - but you want to make sure it isn't too deep either, because it'll make your "egg" fall apart. So try to make it about the same size and depth as the measuring spoon.

Then, with a soup spoon, form the outside shape of the egg. Just gently cut the corners off your rectangular "egg".

Put the extra Tofu you scooped out of and cut off your "egg" in a small bowl. Mash it into a paste, and mix in the seasoning ingredients listed above to make your "yoke". Then, with your soup spoon, fill the cup you made in our "egg" with the "yoke" mix. You are going to have some "yoke" leftover, so it's OK to over-fill it.

Coat a glass baking dish with Olive Oil. Place the eggs in the baking dish and into the oven for 10 minutes. Then, remove from the oven and set aside to put into your salad once they're cool enough to pick up with your hands.

Bacon & Spinach Salad

• 6 Pieces of Vegan Bacon (We used Lightlife Smart Bacon, but the Fakin Bacon Tempeh might have been better.)
• 3 Tablespoons Olive Oil
• Dash of Liquid Smoke
• 5 Green Onions (diced)
• 2 Tablespoons Fresh Parsley (diced)
• 1/4 Teaspoon Lemon Pepper
• Pinch of Celery Seed
• 2 Teaspoons Braggs
• 3 Tablespoons White Wine
• 2 Tablespoons White Wine Vinegar
• 2 Tablespoons Lemon Juice
• 1/4 Teaspoon Agave Nectar
• 1 Clove Garlic (minced)

In your delightful little iron skillet, cook your Fake Bacon in 2 Tablespoons of Olive Oil with a dash of Liquid Smoke at a medium heat. Once it's crispy, remove it from the skillet and set it aside. You want the Oil on the Fake Bacon, so you don't want to put it on a paper towel like I usually tell you to. Cut into bite sized pieces.

Add the last Tablespoon Olive Oil--and maybe another dash of Liquid Smoke--and take the heat down to low. We're recreating Bacon Fat. Yeah, gross, right? But we're going for the smokey flavor so we're using the Liquid Smoke. I added another dash. I love liquid smoke; if you don't, one might be enough.

Then, add Green Onions, Parsley, Lemon Pepper, Celery Seed, Braggs, White Wine, Garlic, and Agave Nectar. Heat until the Green Onions become tender. Then, add White Wine Vinegar and Lemon Juice. Remove from heat.

Put your Spinach in a large bowl. Pour the warm Salad Dressing over the Spinach and toss your salad to coat. Place your Eggs around the bowl, and sprinkle the Bacon Pieces over the top of your Salad. You need to serve the Salad immediately so it doesn't wilt too much.

When you eat it, make sure you get a lot of dressing on your Eggs, because they taste almost poetic together.