The Worst

A photo of the Caribbean Ocean from our babymoon to Tulum, Mexico

Last week was supposed to be the week we talked about being a vegan traveling in Mexico. We were going to talk about our babymoon to Tulum, Mexico and what we saw and ate there. We were going to veganize Mexican recipes of what we weren't able to eat there and I even had a little love letter to beans and rice I wanted to share. We were also going to make homemade vegan candy for our friend Susanne's birthday and share a bunch of vegan candy tips and recipes. We have some new recipes for chili, donuts and waffles - featuring a lot of pumpkin that would have shown up this week if we had time. But that's not what happened last week.

Last week, we lost our perfectly healthy baby girl.

Now there are going to be those who wonder if this is because I'm vegan or because of the amount of traveling we did. There are also those who follow me on Facebook and Twitter - who know that this pregnancy has been hard on me. I've had to deal with round the clock morning sickness and fatigue. But none of this had anything to do with what happened last week. I can assure you that while this tragedy may have a little to do with my age, really this was caused by a personal medical condition that no one found out about until it was too late. We've been assured that now that they know about this problem, we can try again--that there is no reason we won't be able to have a happy, healthy baby some day.

But to be honest that brings us little comfort right now. The little girl I was carrying was over 5 months along and had become apart of our family in many ways, if mostly in the promise of a child. To say it has been difficult to let her go would be beyond an understatement. It was would just be a lie. It's been the worst and hardest thing either of us have ever had to do

Sometimes I wake up and find comfort in knowing we might still be parents some day, and other days I wake up wishing that time travel was possible. It makes it easier knowing that we have friends and family who will be there to support us. While we would love to hear from you and welcome cards and emails, please know that we live in a tiny apartment and don't have much room for flowers and other gifts. For anyone who's interested, we would welcome donations to the Woodstock Animal Sanctuary--one of our very favorite places on earth--made in memory of our little girl, Piper Shannon.

Thank you in advance for your love and support. We'll be back to posting recipes soon.